I really love the honesty in your writing! I had a similar experience recently to your restaurant one when watching people gamble in a pub. It wasn’t smugness in my abstinence, nor judgement in watching. Not quite repulsion, either, maybe just an emptiness coming from a complete detachment of that way of life.
Ed, I can't even express to you how validated and seen I feel from you saying that. You get it. Thank you, too--so much. I'm so grateful you took the time to share.
That opening plus “You get to decide what to worship” was everything. The further I get in sobriety the more I realize I was worshipping booze out of a lot of shame I got from another worship setting. These days I’m expanding and realizing I do get to decide and it can be kind of unstructured, but it feels really freeing, too.
Omg, David Foster Wallace blew my mind so many times. So glad you found resonance here, Josh. I like your mention of unstructured freedom... you make me think how there is an element of that I am perhaps still feeling my way through in sobriety. Thank you so much for sharing.
"Always assume there’s a bigger picture that even your biggest picture cannot fathom." Love, that is one beautiful line. Makes me feel some hope even with all the wildness going on. ♥️♥️
But now that I reread it, it could also be sinister! Whose bigger picture is it, after all? I want my bigger picture to be hopeful and boundless and loving and magical ✨
I really love the honesty in your writing! I had a similar experience recently to your restaurant one when watching people gamble in a pub. It wasn’t smugness in my abstinence, nor judgement in watching. Not quite repulsion, either, maybe just an emptiness coming from a complete detachment of that way of life.
Thanks!
Ed, I can't even express to you how validated and seen I feel from you saying that. You get it. Thank you, too--so much. I'm so grateful you took the time to share.
I see you and feel your writing in my heart. I’m so glad we can share these strange feelings.
That means worlds to me. ♥️
“I’d rather plaster recovery over everything else I could be writing about. The world is on fire and I’m not drinking.
That’s the only story I’ve got.”
And it’s enough. 🙏
And it's everything. Thank you always, Dee.
That opening plus “You get to decide what to worship” was everything. The further I get in sobriety the more I realize I was worshipping booze out of a lot of shame I got from another worship setting. These days I’m expanding and realizing I do get to decide and it can be kind of unstructured, but it feels really freeing, too.
Omg, David Foster Wallace blew my mind so many times. So glad you found resonance here, Josh. I like your mention of unstructured freedom... you make me think how there is an element of that I am perhaps still feeling my way through in sobriety. Thank you so much for sharing.
I always want to tell someone and tell no one at the same time.
Yes. I feel this so much.
Thank you so much, I’m so glad you get it.
More scares the living shit out of me too.
Thank you so much for repeating that exact part.
"Always assume there’s a bigger picture that even your biggest picture cannot fathom." Love, that is one beautiful line. Makes me feel some hope even with all the wildness going on. ♥️♥️
But now that I reread it, it could also be sinister! Whose bigger picture is it, after all? I want my bigger picture to be hopeful and boundless and loving and magical ✨
I think it’s both beautiful and sinister at any given turn… but I adore your big picture. Count be in on that one, too. ♥️♥️♥️
Not drinking, just barely existing, just found I'm overseating to numb, but to numb what? just ...
just reading your writing helped though. Thank you💕
Hey Julie, I feel you and I’m sending you so much love. No answers, but I’m deeply grateful you are here. ♥️