Lovely piece. In a sense, the self criticism that arises from childhood pain was a way of protecting ourselves, I think, from a reality that we needed to survive by depending on our caretakers. We could not afford to object to negative treatment from them at that time so instead, we turned that on ourselves and believed what we were being told which was always false. This is quite a brilliant solution for a child to come up with when you think of it. It no longer serves us, but maybe a way to deal with it when it arises now is to acknowledge it, thank it for its past service, and let it go.
I love this. I still struggle with external voices who are still reinforcing these preconceived notions and societal standards that got me here in the first place. I try to do more good than harm when I shout them down.
But after 3 years of training myself to speak more kindly to myself, it still surprises me when it actually happens by default now, instead of the reverse. Instead of “hey asshole you’re running late again, you’re such a failure!” I surprise myself with “hey sweetie, I think we might be late if we don’t leave soon. It’s not the end of the world but just letting you know.” It shocks me every time it happens.
Really enjoyed this yet again. So deeply relate to drinking as a mechanism for muting all the anger and derision in my head. In my journey, I was only able to stop once I learned how to switch most of those voices to something kinder. Challenge for me these days is in not completely ignoring those mean voices when they arrive, but taking the time to listen to what they have to say, get to the core reasons, and take action from there. Still working on that one. Thank you!
Thank you so much, Patrick. It is really such a challenge. I honestly don’t know how I ever would have saved myself from my own haunted mind without recovery. We are up against so much invisible cruelty in our heads. Sending you hugs, friend.
Lovely piece. In a sense, the self criticism that arises from childhood pain was a way of protecting ourselves, I think, from a reality that we needed to survive by depending on our caretakers. We could not afford to object to negative treatment from them at that time so instead, we turned that on ourselves and believed what we were being told which was always false. This is quite a brilliant solution for a child to come up with when you think of it. It no longer serves us, but maybe a way to deal with it when it arises now is to acknowledge it, thank it for its past service, and let it go.
Thank you so much for sharing this with me so generously. It resonates deeply.
I love this. I still struggle with external voices who are still reinforcing these preconceived notions and societal standards that got me here in the first place. I try to do more good than harm when I shout them down.
But after 3 years of training myself to speak more kindly to myself, it still surprises me when it actually happens by default now, instead of the reverse. Instead of “hey asshole you’re running late again, you’re such a failure!” I surprise myself with “hey sweetie, I think we might be late if we don’t leave soon. It’s not the end of the world but just letting you know.” It shocks me every time it happens.
So glad you love this. And I totally feel that way, too. It is surprising that my default is kind, as long as I'm present with it. <3
Really enjoyed this yet again. So deeply relate to drinking as a mechanism for muting all the anger and derision in my head. In my journey, I was only able to stop once I learned how to switch most of those voices to something kinder. Challenge for me these days is in not completely ignoring those mean voices when they arrive, but taking the time to listen to what they have to say, get to the core reasons, and take action from there. Still working on that one. Thank you!
Thank you so much, Patrick. It is really such a challenge. I honestly don’t know how I ever would have saved myself from my own haunted mind without recovery. We are up against so much invisible cruelty in our heads. Sending you hugs, friend.
Beautifully written. Those old voices can still haunt us. I’m still working on exorcising mine. 🤍
Thank you so much, Holly. It's definitely a process. x
Deep. Poetic. Love it.
Thank you so much, Adam.