Lovely piece. In a sense, the self criticism that arises from childhood pain was a way of protecting ourselves, I think, from a reality that we needed to survive by depending on our caretakers. We could not afford to object to negative treatment from them at that time so instead, we turned that on ourselves and believed what we were being told which was always false. This is quite a brilliant solution for a child to come up with when you think of it. It no longer serves us, but maybe a way to deal with it when it arises now is to acknowledge it, thank it for its past service, and let it go.
I love this. I still struggle with external voices who are still reinforcing these preconceived notions and societal standards that got me here in the first place. I try to do more good than harm when I shout them down.
But after 3 years of training myself to speak more kindly to myself, it still surprises me when it actually happens by default now, instead of the reverse. Instead of āhey asshole youāre running late again, youāre such a failure!ā I surprise myself with āhey sweetie, I think we might be late if we donāt leave soon. Itās not the end of the world but just letting you know.ā It shocks me every time it happens.
Beautifully written. Those old voices can still haunt us. Iām still working on exorcising mine. š¤
Thank you so much, Holly. It's definitely a process. x
Lovely piece. In a sense, the self criticism that arises from childhood pain was a way of protecting ourselves, I think, from a reality that we needed to survive by depending on our caretakers. We could not afford to object to negative treatment from them at that time so instead, we turned that on ourselves and believed what we were being told which was always false. This is quite a brilliant solution for a child to come up with when you think of it. It no longer serves us, but maybe a way to deal with it when it arises now is to acknowledge it, thank it for its past service, and let it go.
Thank you so much for sharing this with me so generously. It resonates deeply.
Deep. Poetic. Love it.
Thank you so much, Adam.
I love this. I still struggle with external voices who are still reinforcing these preconceived notions and societal standards that got me here in the first place. I try to do more good than harm when I shout them down.
But after 3 years of training myself to speak more kindly to myself, it still surprises me when it actually happens by default now, instead of the reverse. Instead of āhey asshole youāre running late again, youāre such a failure!ā I surprise myself with āhey sweetie, I think we might be late if we donāt leave soon. Itās not the end of the world but just letting you know.ā It shocks me every time it happens.
So glad you love this. And I totally feel that way, too. It is surprising that my default is kind, as long as I'm present with it. <3