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Kevin's avatar

"So you can write or drink or gamble or cheat or play mind games all you want, but there is no escape. The fucking around contains the finding out. There is nowhere to go and nothing you can do to ever completely lose yourself. The only question is: do you want to live in the glare of that reality, or in the shadowed blur of the illusion?

"Either way, you are what you are."

In the fall of 1997, I made one of my occasional "state of mind" mixtapes. When finished, I printed out a j-card, and glued a section of a photo (of a scrambled cable TV channel) to the front. On impulse, I grabbed one of those metallic-ink pens, and scribbled "The inescapable self…" underneath the photo.

That's what this piece reminds me of. The inescapable self.

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Allison Deraney's avatar

Gripping and real piece of writing!

So good.

“there was nothing that anchored me to myself.” Gah, that’s it. That’s what writing is for me and why I keep doing it. I’m untethered otherwise.

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