Look at how you drink 3 pots of coffee a day because you need a mugful next to you so you can feel safe.
Remember how you used to suck your thumb as a kid, suck it so hard you ruined your teeth, to feel better. Even before you knew what it meant to feel ‘bad.’
Look at how you down strawberry seltzer water like a fucking alco…
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to Dry Humor Me to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.