700 days sober: Some humble (& humbling) advice for maintaining long term recovery
what recovery gives & expects from you
Happy December, my friends. I’m 700 days sober today, or rather: into recovery. And recovery is an endless evolving thing which makes it the greatest relationship I have ever known. One I at first embraced, then resented, then rejected, and have now come back around to embracing again. What can I say? I’m difficult. I’m not an easy sell. I have to pick things apart, challenge and question them. Sometimes obsessively. Sometimes to death. I’m always in flux.
I’m on a spiral not a straight line. That’s the trick, you know? The spiral is the only way we get where we want to go. It’s an elevation of consciousness that swings around and around but never repeats the same way twice. It is an ever onward and upward motion, invisible to all but the attentive and the wise.
To celebrate this milestone that the world for the most part knows little to nothing about, but one that I know many special and precious souls do (you know who you are — I love us), here is just a short list of all that recovery has given me over the past 23 months as I have forged my unique relationship with it:
Clarity. Resilience. Dignity. Self respect. Courage. Peace. Joy. Connection. Stability. Safety. Calm. Determination. Self reliance. Self control. Self discipline. Freedom. Self awareness. Presence. Confidence. Integration. Health. Bravery. Laughter. Self forgiveness. Forgiveness.
And what I want you to know is this:
Recovery takes what it takes. It is not for the faint of heart. It is stubborn, demanding, relentless, and magnificent. It expects you to confront, embrace, and accept who you are. It will not flinch. Neither can you.
It takes the time it takes, there is no forcing or rushing it. There is no stopping its momentum once you commit.
Trust the process. Don’t drink. Don’t drink. Don’t drink.
Pay attention. Look for the patterns. You will need to get a long time into recovery before you can look back and be able to identify them. When you do, the work begins again. The work renews itself. The work is an ecosystem all its own. You will need to learn it, and the only way to do that is to respect it. And then you will realize the work is you.
Learn to love yourself first. It’s the only way to be sure your choices, decisions, and beliefs are genuine, honest, kind, generous and, therefore, sustainable.
Don’t over do it. That’s what got us into this mess to begin with.
Laugh a lot. The mess is beautiful. And the single greatest thing about recovery is that we are here to do it.
Love Me Sober: How I broke up with booze & came home to myself is now available for download at this link. Become a paid subscriber to my substack and receive your copy of my memoir instantly as a free gift.
Follow me on Instagram for daily sober inspiration @allisonmarieconway
Allison Marie Conway is a Certified Professional Life Coach with a specialization in Addiction Recovery Coaching, working primarily with women who want to quit drinking. As a creative and resourceful woman living an intentional life of sobriety, Allison brings her deep compassion for those who struggle with alcohol addiction, and her unique life experience in navigating the ups and downs of sobriety, to her beloved work. She is also a published author (Love Me Sober, 2023; Luminae, 2018), wife, mother, mentor, and addiction recovery researcher and advocate. Before opening her private practice in 2023, Allison worked in the professional corporate environment for over twenty years, excelling in supporting C-Suite executives for well over a decade. She earned her Bachelor of Arts Degree in Liberal Arts & Sciences from Pennsylvania State University. Allison grew up in and around northeast Philadelphia, and currently lives in Bucks County, Pennsylvania, with her husband, John, of seventeen years.
Thank you for sharing your story. And congratulations on 700 days. I am on Day 70. After 30+ years of drinking, this is a very big deal!